


Wondering

by lovelyisthenight (sparkle_1)



Series: Otayuri Week 2017 [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Demisexual Yuri Plisetsky, Established Relationship, First Kiss, M/M, No Dialogue, OtaYuri Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9846284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkle_1/pseuds/lovelyisthenight
Summary: He'd already come to terms with the fact that he doesn't want it. And now, having to deal with the fact that he does, maybe, is… well, it's a little terrifying.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Otayuri Week, Day 1
> 
> Prompt: First Times/Confessions

They haven’t kissed yet.

They’ve been dating for months, now. They’ve held hands, and cuddled, and things like that. They go on dates, and take ~~cute~~  badass selfies, and play with each other’s hair. It’s nice, what they have, and they’re happy, mostly.

But they still haven’t _kissed._

Yuri knows it’s his fault. Every time he feels Otabek move closer, or spots him out of the corner of his eye, he turns his face so Otabek’s lips meet his cheek, instead. And Otabek never says anything, never shows any sign of being disappointed. Just leaves a lingering kiss there for Yuri to deny blushing about later.

He probably thinks Yuri isn’t ready, or something. After all, the first kiss is supposed to be this _big thing,_ right? He probably thinks Yuri is nervous, or waiting for the _right moment,_ or some shit like that.

Well.

Not exactly.

Yuri is actually surprised at himself by how much he _does_ want to kiss Otabek. He wants to kiss him, and run his hands down his sides, and press against him until _every inch_ of their bodies are touching, touching, touching -

And that scares him.

Yuri’s never wanted to do that. Not with anyone. He feels like he should have, being a teenage boy and everything, but not once has he felt any interest in kissing, or… other things. At least, not until he and Beka started dating.

It happened gradually, at first. He would lie with his head in Otabek’s lap, and stare up at him, and wonder what those lips might feel like against his own. He would hold Otabek’s hand, and wonder how it would feel to have those fingers pressed against his bare skin. He would hug him, and wonder, and look at him, and wonder, and think his name, and wonder.

But every time it comes close to becoming a reality, he gets scared.

If they kiss, and Yuri _likes_ it, this whole… _attraction_ thing will be real. He'll have to relearn everything he thought he knew about that aspect of himself.

He'd already come to terms with the fact that he doesn't want it. And now, having to deal with the fact that he _does,_ maybe, is… well, it's a little terrifying.

So they haven't kissed yet. Because Yuri is a fucking coward.

He knows Otabek wants it. He's tried to kiss him before, only for Yuri to subtly reject his attempts. He must be so frustrated by now, even if he doesn't show it.

But Yuri can't let it be real. He's not ready for it to be real, at least not yet. So he wonders, and wonders, in silence.

They're sitting on Yuri's bed, now, facing each other. Yuri's legs are crossed, and one of Otabek's is dangling off the side. Their hands are joined between them, and Yuri is thinking.

Thinking about kissing, and about Otabek. About kissing Otabek. It's not unusual, these days, for that to be the subject of his thoughts. Today, though…

He glances up, and sees a small smile on Otabek's lips, and the light from the window makes his eyes shine beautifully, and Yuri is suddenly hit with the overwhelming desire to _kiss him, kiss him, kiss him_ -

So he does.

He leans forward, and squeezes his eyes shut, and smashes his mouth onto Otabek's.

The hands holding his tighten their grip slightly in surprise. Yuri can feel Otabek tense up, but he doesn't push him away, so that's something, right?

It feels… good. Otabek's lips are warm, and soft, and _there._ Otabek slowly relaxes, and Yuri's heart is pounding as Otabek strokes his wrists lightly with his thumbs.

It's everything he had been afraid of.

But he can't for the _life_ of him remember why.

He's warming up to it, a little, and it's nice.

Except… after the whole “touching mouths” thing, Yuri isn't really sure what a kiss consists of, entirely. He's fine with this, just sitting with their lips pressed together, but he can't help but feel that there's something _else_ he's supposed to be doing.

He lets his eyes slide open a fraction, only to see Otabek, eyes closed, brow furrowed.

Yuri eases his eyes open wider, and slowly pulls away until there's a few inches between their faces. Otabek relaxes his grip on Yuri's hands, and swallows.

His eyes flutter open, immediately finding Yuri's. The corner of his mouth is twitching with a smile, and his cheeks are tinged with pink. He looks pleased, if a bit surprised.

Yuri feels the same, but he's also… confused. He's not supposed to like this kind of stuff. It's not supposed to be _enjoyable,_ not for him. And yet, with Beka… it was. It was _very_ enjoyable. And he kind of wants to do it again.

But this is enough for one day. They'll continue to sit here and hold hands, and look at each other, and maybe talk about it a little.

And maybe tomorrow, he can kiss Otabek again, to see if he still likes it. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. He doesn't know. But he can find out.

He doesn't have to wonder, anymore. He still can, if he wants to, but he can _do,_ too. He can _feel_ it, in real life. He _has_ felt it, he thinks giddily.

He's felt it. At least, part of it. Maybe someday, he'll feel the rest of it, with Beka.

Beka, who is sitting on _his_ bed, and holding _his_ hands, and was just kissed by _him._

Yuri feels a swell of emotion rise up inside him, and doesn't even bother to hide the huge smile he knows must be taking over his face right now. Beka matches it easily, and they just… sit.

It's real.

And it's wonderful.


End file.
